Just a warning to some readers, this story may get a little raunchy. 

The First Part of the Story

As many of the weird things that have happened somewhere along the line, this one has to be the most creepy thing that has happened to me. I am sitting here, and wondering, what did I do to deserve this? This is probably karma coming back to me, for something bad I must have done. I am not sad about the experience, in fact, I am laughing at it the more I think of it – This will be one of those stories I will tell my grand kids for sure 🙂

So where do I begin? Firstly, there was a big celebration happening at my house, and we all know that where there is a big celebration, there will be deep banks of booze and meat. Normally, I do not drink booze, but I decided this time, I will give this stuff a try to see what makes booze so “great” and “amazing”. I had a bit of Traditional Beer (Umqombothi), wine, beer and brandy. After consuming all of this, I was feeling really tipsy, relaxed, wanting to talk a lot more, and I found almost any conversation amusing (normally it is a few conversations fancy me).

I was walking through the garage at home, and my uncle asks me for a box of matches (we will call him Ben for this post). I told Ben I did not have any, and I suggested I would make a quick trip to the shops and buy him his own box of matches. Ben agreed to this, he gave me the money required, and told me to make it snappy. Just as I was about to leave, another guy (who will call Sam for this post), asked me to buy Three Ships for him. I accepted his request, he gave me his money, and now, I was on my way to the shops.

Walking to the shops doesn’t take long – it is a short and enjoyable 15 minute walk. I get to the shops, I buy the box of matches and alcohol, and now I was on my way back home. Boy did I not expect what was to follow – a car guard (we will call him John for this post) approaches me. John asks how I am doing and asks me if I have any spare shoes at home that I could give to him. I told him I am not sure, I may/may not have spare shoes. He then says fine, let me follow you home…the moment he mentions this, I tell him I got to go, I am in a hurry. I tell him I got to go, then he randomly says “I love you”.

Okay, now I am pretty much confused. I waffle a little, saying It’s not my problem, and that I got to go, then he comes up to me, he kisses me and he then hugs me, and then he hugs me and starts touching my butt and rubs against my “private part”. He then adds he wants to have sex with me, in a secluded area. I was really confused, this was way too much for me to handle. I take a few steps back, and I tell John that I am leaving now. John didn’t want to let me go, he was following me. I knew this is not looking pretty, I do not want to be followed by someone I do not know…I eventually tell him I will give him his shoes next time I pass the shops again (I said this so he could stop following me). John takes the bait and leaves me alone.

I get home safely, I give Ben and Sam their goods, and I go to sleep. The next morning I wake up in a pool of vomit – it seems I threw up while I was sleeping! And this makes sense because I do remember having a dream about throwing up!!

I was initially planning to end the story here, but after what happened yesterday, there definitely has to be a part two! 

John Returns! Oh My Word!

Two days after the incident, I saw I needed to buy some DVD discs – I needed to make a backup copy of my Windows 7 Home Premium OEM iso file (Hard Drive Senitel tells me my notebook hard drive has 98 days left, health sitting at 29%), and a copy of Linux Ubuntu 14.04. In order to get the discs, I would have to buy them from the shops – this, normally isn’t a problem, but I would run into John again and who knows what he may do to me. Despite this concern, I tell myself I am not going to stay locked away just because of one person, so I decide to head to the shops.

To get my DVD’s, I needed to go to my local computer hardware store…the route to the store is slightly different to the route I had taken to go to the shops. I was walking down the street, and as I was 40m from the store, there is John, sitting on the side of the road with his head down. I walk past John, act like I didn’t notice him, and then enter the computer shop. I buy the DVD discs, and I walk out of the store. As I walk out, John is still in the same place, I walk past him, and I pick up my pace a little.

I was moving quite well, I was roughly 300m away from home now. I decide to randomly look behind me, and there is John, running after me. OH MY GOODNESS!! – Those were the words playing in my head. Eventually he catches up to me and he says “I noticed you going into the computer shop, you must have not seen me. You said you would have some shoes for me”. I told him I don’t have any shoes, and that I got to go. He follows me up the road, and I tell him to stop following me. John says “I love you though, come on, I know of a place close to here, where no body will be watching, where we can have sex”. Oh my word, is this guy being serious??! I tell him I don’t want, and then I add that I already have a partner in another town. I thought this would make John leave me alone, but it clearly didn’t “Oh that’s no problem, we can still have sex, no one is going to know, you won’t have to tell your partner about it” says John. I tell him that I do not cheat, and that I live up to the policy “Do what you want to be done upon you”. I try to walk and he still follows me, he then says “Look, you could not give me shoes, so you owe me sex at the very least….come on, I will be quick, not even 15 minutes.”…and he is rubbing he own “private part”. Okay, now I was getting extremely pissed, I start shouting “Just leave me alone!! I do not want you!! Stop bothering me!! You are scaring me!!”. John then says “But I can’t, I love you, and you must love me as well”. I tell him that I was drunk and I was not thinking that night, but he doesn’t seem to listen. I really wanted to call the police now, but I figured if I do this, then he may take my phone away and that he may pull a knife or a gun. I shout again, then I just start walking away. John continues to follow me and then he says “Do you not love me, do you hate me?”. I tell him “I don’t want you! Leave me alone!!”. John replies “Are you being for real?”. I don’t reply back, I continue walking, then he says “Fine”…this happened about 50m from my house.

Some Last Words…

Never did I think I would have struggled to get out this sticky situation!! I have not seen John around, but I am sure I am going to run into him again. As traumatic as this situation may sound, I am busy laughing at it – the one time I leave my house feeling real tipsy, I get all this heat on me. I was one step away from getting violent with John, but I seriously can’t see myself harming anyone. I told a few of my friends and they were laughing at the story. I was really scared, shaking like crazy when all of this was going down. At some points, I was thinking “Oh no, he is going to pull a gun or a knife” 🙂

Well, I guess I have learnt my lesson from this – never leave the house if you have had a lot to drink. And to John, there is NO way I am going to let a stranger screw me 🙂